I’m Feeling 22

Before I officially turn 22, I thought it was a good opportunity to reflect on the past year of my life. I think 21 is quite a milestone for a lot of people, and it was quite a big year for me.

When Adele was 21, she wrote a Grammy award winning album. I’m not quite there just yet… but I’m proud of what I’ve achieved this year, and I think it’s important to look back and remind myself who and where I’ve been.

Gorgeous present from some of my favourite people

So, here’s a list of some of the highs and lows from my year being 21.

• Packed up my university room and moved back home, trying to figure out what happens next…
• Had, probably, the best birthday I’ve had in a long time, seeing Kinky Boots with my Mum and going to China Town for dinner and drinks with my family and boyfriend.
• Had an amazing holiday in Kos, where I found out I got my 2:1 in English Literature.
• Interned at my favourite magazine, Attitude.
• Had my first article published in a magazine!
• My parents watched me graduate, and I could hear my Dad in the crowd.
• Worked my first paid position as a copywriter.
• Came out to my more distant relatives.
• Decorated t-shirts to wear to pride, and got free drinks!
• Had my first job interview.
• Had my first job rejection (followed by many others!)
• Interned at Gay Times magazine.
• Looked after my boyfriend’s dog so his family could be with his Dad in the hospital.
• Held my boyfriend’s hand and wrote a poem for him to read at his Dad’s funeral. It sounds morbid, but I’m really honoured.
• Visited Vienna, my first holiday with both my parents and boyfriend.
• Saw Julian Clary in pantomime, and intend to see him again and again and again!
• Bought an exercise bike that I’ve barely used.
• Started to post regularly onto my blog, posting every single day (for the most part!)
• Continually put off contacting magazines for work, because rejection…
• Took a job as a receptionist, and took to it much more naturally than I thought I ever could.
• Attended my Dad’s 20 years of service to the police ceremony, where I cheered him on from the crowd.
• Visited my brother in Wales and wasn’t asked to leave because of bad Gavin and Stacey impressions.
• Started contributing to Gay Boy Bible.
• Celebrated my second anniversary with my boyfriend.
• Gotten almost 100 followers on my blog! Come on guys, you know you want to help me get to 100!

It’s been a huge year for me. I’m trying to find my way in the world as a writer, as a gay man, as an adult, as a human. I’m not going to say that I’ve found it yet… I definitely haven’t! But I hope 22 is a new opportunity to keep on going, to keep on dreaming, and to keep on pushing myself to try.

I’ve never been a fan of birthdays. I hate change and I hate attention and I hate getting older…

But, I feel different with 22. I felt like 21 me was an old child, whereas 22 feels more like a young adult. Sometimes I find it hard to enjoy myself and to leave my comfort zone, so I’d like to promise myself that this year, I will have more fun and I’ll try more things.

I can’t predict what will happen this year, but I’m feeling positive.

All I want is to smile, even when things get hard. I want to be kinder to myself, and to be confident. I’m always brave, but I’m rarely confident. I want to keep writing, and I want to go to places.

Here are some goals that I’ll revisit when I get to 23, I’ll let you know how they turn out!

• Finish up my 365 Days of poetry, and after that, continue to write when I’m inspired.
• Delve into writing more fiction, and start writing my first novel (maybe we’ll start with a short story or two, first…)
• I don’t want to make too many professional goals, because it’s been proving really difficult. So I will just say try your best, stay motivated, widen the net and continue to contribute, and intern at 2 more magazines.
• Pick up a hobby. Maybe drawing, or theatre, or a book club. Anything!
• It would be amazing to get to 200 followers.

I hope I can make 22 a great one.

I also promise to sing 22 by Taylor Swift, unironically and as often as possible.